21 Oct Humanity’s Weird Obsessions And The Emotional Rollercoaster Of Google Trends

So, I was feeling curious (as usual) and decided to dive headfirst into Google Trends to see what the world is currently obsessing over. You know, because when you’re a naturally inquisitive, borderline nosy person like me, the internet is your playground. My mission: to uncover what people are searching for, which I assume reflects what they’re interested in (or what they accidentally typed while sleep-scrolling at 3 a.m.).

Being my meticulous self, I combed through the trending topics, and right now… words! Oh yes, folks, we’re trending in words territory. Buckle up.

It’s no shocker that the U.S. election is on fire right now. I mean, we’re just weeks away, so of course, names like Kamala and Trump are sitting pretty at the top of the list. But wait—Trump and… McDonald’s?! That’s trending? I blinked twice, refreshed my screen, and still… there it was. Trump and McDonald’s, holding hands at the top of the internet charts. Can someone update me on this? Did he launch a new burger? The McCovfefe Deluxe? Is this about his love affair with fast food, or are we witnessing a bizarre new political alliance? Either way, I expected something more like “Trump and immigration” or “Kamala and economics,” but nope. It’s cheeseburgers, people.

But here’s where it gets really juicy. I ventured deeper into the search abyss, scanning through trending searches across the U.S. and beyond. And what did I discover? At least on Mondays, the world is mostly obsessed with sports scores and celebrity gossip. Yep, people are scouring the internet for the latest in who scored what and who kissed who. To be clear, these are famous people, I guess. I wouldn’t know. It’s research, folks. Wink.

Now, what’s missing from all these searches? Oh, just little things like spirituality, self-improvement, or, I don’t know, literature. You know, minor topics that might indicate we have some depth. The absence of these searches made me wonder: Are we really this shallow? Is humanity really just glued to sports and gossip? Are we… doomed?

But wait! There’s hope. It’s only Monday. Maybe this is just a start-of-the-week thing. Perhaps, by Thursday, we’ll all be furiously Googling philosophy or sustainable energy solutions. Maybe.

To calm my existential crisis, I decided to dig into the fitness category. Surely, here people must be searching for something meaningful, like “best workout for mental clarity” or “how to build strength after 40.” Oh no, my friends. The top search over the past year? “Long legs.” Yup. Long. Legs. Are people Googling how to grow them? Admiring them? Plotting a long-leg revolution? I mean, unless there’s a black market for extra leg-length, I’m pretty sure long legs is something you’re either born with or… well, just not. And if you’re worried that long-legged people are dominating the world, rest assured they still have to buy pants just like the rest of us.

Still unsatisfied, I dipped my toes into the health category. Surely, the good people of the internet are focused on, you know, health. And what do I find as the top trending search in the last 12 months? “Fat-topic.” Hmm. Okay, fat what, though? Fat-burning? Fat diets? Fat puppies? (Honestly, it could go either way.) If it’s people looking to get healthier, I salute you. But if it’s just more unattainable beauty standards, sigh… moving on.

And finally, in the Hobbies & Leisure department—because yes, I was this desperate—I stumbled across the breakout topic of the year: “Hamster combat.” Uh… What?? First of all, who is training hamsters to fight, and why aren’t we talking about this more? Are we arming them with tiny swords? Are there championship belts? I have so many questions and absolutely no answers.

So, what did I learn from this highly scientific research mission? Well, to put it mildly, we’ve got some… odd priorities. But hey, it’s not all bad. There’s still hope. I’ll be back on Thursday to check if we’re still lost in the shallow end of the pool, or if we’ve collectively decided to search for things that involve actual thinking.

In the meantime, happy Googling, my fellow researchers. Let me know if you find out anything groundbreaking—like why hamsters are now warriors.

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